Undecided...

My grandmother past away last week, she was on life support for a few days when our family decided to take her off and allow to happen what god wanted. Well that same day October 5, 2009 around 1130am my grandma left us. i have only lost one other person who i was super close to and that was my Abuelito and i was still young and didn't completely comprehend death. so losing my grandma at age 20 was very hard for me. we buried her yesterday October 12, 2009 it was something i cant explain my heart was hurting and nothing i did was going to ease that pain! i do believe in god and i know she is with him right now, but i am human and selfish and i want her to be here with me. Is that so hard to understand? my emotions are so crazy right now there is not only one thing that i am feeling my emotion is

Undecided!